Sunday Inspiration

Sunday, January 4, 2015
Happy Sunday to you all. I hope you are all having a wonderful afternoon. All of us around here were sleepy heads today including myself. :) I love it when we can all sleep in and wake up together easily. Weekends are great! Most Sunday's I try to publish a more spiritual blog post. Normally it is influenced by life and today is no different.

 While we were in Indiana for Christmas, I had a crazy little moment where I realized we were now really the grandparents and we are moving up in the line and soon we will just be memories in our kids and grand children hearts. I don't know why it hit me so hard in the moment but it truly did. It was huge for me. After that thought came in my mind, I just could not stop thinking about it. Scott reminded me that even though we are in fact grandparents, I still have my mom and dad. Sadly, his are both gone but we still have time. That spun my mind in even more directions. 

Here are some of the thoughts that were coming to mind:

* How could it be this way?? * Are we really getting old so fast? * Eventually we will be all the kids have. * I have to try to set better examples in everything. * I totally need to master the art of self control. * I should be praying more. * Still so many happy memories to make with all the kids. * Scott really does love me. I have to keep our marriage strong no matter what. * We need more family time. * Why haven't we found a church? * I need to control my cursing. * We really are going to just be memories one day. * Maybe we should get more life insurance to give to the kids? *I need to print this blog into books for the kids to have. *What's happens if Scott or I get sick? * I need to smile more. * I need to really make the most of this time now. *Doesn't life seem to go by in the blink of the eye.

All those thoughts and more flowed through my mind for days on end. I felt sad but I also felt compelled to really make a difference in my families life. I want to be a better wife, mother and friend. I know at this point in my life I should have more self control than what I do. I should be choosing my words more carefully and speaking in love not anger. Especially with my family. I should be more patient even on days I am tired. I just had a real awakening that we are the grown ups now. We are the one's who are setting the example. It's crazy thinking about it that way but its been that way for a while now and it's just starting to sink in how important my role in this family is. I have so many things I still want to teach my children. I have so many things that I still need to learn and it doesn't seem like much time to get it all done.

I think for a while now I have let past things haunt me in the current day. In which I think it has altered my ability to trust. I don't just mean trust other people. All the anxiety I have has to be from the past when something has scared or hurt me. So realizing how it all ties together, has been a real revelation for me. I am not saying I know it and its all better now. But what I do know is I am working hard to have everything on that tree above in my life.

Maybe it is me getting older that makes me realize how precious time is and important it is for me to make the biggest impact in the smallest amount of time with the kids. My fear of the ticking clock has to be set aside for me to get my life organized and cleaned up while I still have the time to do it. I haven't been the best person I could be in the first part. So maybe if I take control of my mind, body, and spirit....the rest of my life here can be more meaningful. None of us are promised tomorrow and my questions to you is....are you living a life you are proud of? Could you do it better? How would you do it better?

Here's my short list of needed self improvements:

  • Make more time for God. No matter if we find a church or not in the near future, my family and I can still make more time to pray, to read scriptures and mediate. 
  • Stop Cursing. Yep. It's time. You never sound like a lady saying the F word all the time. Wish me luck. 
  • Be nice to strangers. I need to trust that most people are kind. I should know that by now because you guys have been amazing to me. 
  • Forgive when I don't get that apology I want or think I need. 
  • Make more time with the kids. I think they just want to see our eyes light up when they enter the room. Really the kids have actually taught me so much. 
  • Try to believe & trust in people until they actually give me a reason not to. 
  • Make my marriage a example the kids are proud of. 
So you can see the things I am going to start with. I didn't want to categorize them in New Year Resolutions. It's really more life changes instead of some change for the year. I just feel like time is running out to get it right. Do you ever feel tat way? Idk but I am taking stock and trying to figure out what is most important.

Happy Sunday. ♥